Garden Canopy

What is the word for the door entrance overhang?

Jan 28, 2008 by alexandredz | Posted in Decorating & Remodeling

I try to find it for my door leading outside the house. Internet refers me to canopy or awning. What is the name of it for the constraction workers? I mean a solid overhang made of wood or something like that, not fabric, plastic or aluminium.

Porticos?
like these?
http://www.historicdoors.com/portico.htm l

Which WrestleMania has the best setup?

Dec 01, 2008 by cjacoryp | Posted in Wrestling

I went to WrestleMania 24, There was 8 Movie Screens above the ring under the Canopy, the whole entrance was made of TitanTrons. The Staduim had electric WrestleMania signs everywhere, even in the restroom.

Under the Florida Skys, next to disney land, the beach,and it didnt matter were you went, rather it was the grocery store or gas station and even the movies had WrestleMania 25 posters everywhere.

There were limos on the highway, and limos at every hotel, it was a great day.

wow man i haven't been to a Wrestlemania but they sound great. including w24. stared

please do constructive criticism for my story. Please!?

May 06, 2008 by Spirit Collector | Posted in Other - Society & Culture

This is a prologue of my story. I'm young so please be easy on me.

Prologue

Romaniz pounced up and down through the thick and humid forest of Conscia. The undergrowth was wet and sunlight was infrequent, peeking through the smallest gaps between the canopies of leaves. His upper torso was wet with his own blood and his deep wound was done by his own thin blade. He was starting to pant but the cave was near, not far ahead. His crimson blood was dripping second after second leaving a trail behind. He was afraid that someone might follow him so he started running on his four legs a little faster jumping and crawling through the vegetation. There it was, the damp and dark cave he has been taking refuge in for quite a period. “Just a little more,” Romaniz thought in his mind as his vision was blurring due to the immense amount of blood that he lost. His pace started to slow down and in a blink of an eye light flashed around him and when it was all gone, there stood a young man kneeling on the floor, no more a white furred wolf. Blood was still dripping from underneath his shirt and flowed through to change his shirt from a light yellow to a dark red which was spreading all over rapidly. Half the blood from his body was already lost and much more was still flowing out in thick drops. He dropped his blue battle coat which was emblazoned with the crest of a phoenix on the breast pocket onto the ground along with his swords. He dragged his body deeper into the cave as blood smeared onto the ground and all of a sudden he collapsed. He was sprawled on the ground, covered in his own blood. Blood was still flowing from his deep wound caused by his own blade which lay beside him, wet with crimson liquid.

“The Guardians of Kronov rumoured to be found in the 12th century by a young man named Ashcroft Arwan, was only an idea to uphold peace between certain human kingdoms and empires that were creating chaos and war. Although they had already discovered our kind then, the young man was never foolish enough to dwell upon the idea of using his army to oppose the Ancient Family. Soon, they used artificial magic to train fighters as they thought more power was necessary. After issues were settled among humans and peace was achieved, they soon became our biggest problem. They were an army full of well trained fighters with a lot of power and nothing to fight. Those in black usually came past our kingdom to speak with the king in the 15th century, King Kannabis. Unfortunately one meeting changed the fate of two lands, Kronov and ours. We still not know the cause of the tussle but we know the Guardians initiated it at first and King Kannabis realized we ought to fight back. Thus the battle between the Guardians of Kronov and the Zealots of the Ancient Family began.”
-Paragraph III, Page 588 of The Ancient Family philosophy book

The golden-haired youngster started fiddling with his father’s sword, thinking if being a Guardian of Kronov was the right choice or not. He was sitting on his bed with his silver armoured suit on and he kept gazing into the reflection of his face on the silvery surface of the broadsword. Whether or not his fate was sealed to die as a Guardian he had to become one. He slid the sword into the wide scabbard and walked out his wooden decorated room and faced nothing but the future. He was willing to risk his life and even leave his family, relatives, friends and his past. Everyone gave goodbyes but he didn’t seem to listen and stared at something distant as he waved away of what had made him that day. On his seventeenth birthday.

“The Holy War happened in the year before this article was written. The war was the greatest clash between the Zealots and the Guardians of Kronov up to date. Many of ours died but theirs have been decreasing immensely from two hundred to fifty in number only. As elite fighters battle it out we realized, we were on the same level, no more, no less. As a writer I never thought of a cause that would end the rivalries, the bloodshed or the immense violence until now. Nothing but rage fueled their thirst for violence and defeat of the other party. The Guardians though like the Zealots were not much different. Both helped the innocent, had loved ones, both were only heartless to each other. I know not much of the Guardians of Kronov but what rumour I heard of their weaponry caught my attention. For the Zealots, they train with magic, are born with magic and are magic. The Guardians of Kronov use an amulet or pendant which they wear around their necks. These pendants contain the soul of creatures, whether from this world or not, we do not know. We have never seen them transform into these beings before but that is what these pendants are for. Enough said. I shall sign off.”
-Article 56, the Holy War and the Guardians of Kronov by Alexise Quartet

“The gift to draw negative energy is very rare and it can happen to anyone and usually randomly. The gifted will absorb the melancholy, hatred and anger of worlds and use it as power. The feeling was great; a burst of energy and power within you but the gifted will feel the pain, sorrow and hatred of the ones he absorbed from whether plant, animal or human. Once the gifted absorbs enough base power, he or she needs no more as he or she recycles the power that he or she gives out. The flowing emotions power him or her on and on. Only an abstract material can stop these beings. The answer is yet to be found. So far in the past centuries, no ‘Fallen’ have been discovered. Only one case ever happened but luckily that ‘Fallen’ had drifted off with another piece of earth into space and has never been seen again. We not know of what gives them the power to do so but with no specimen to study directly it is not possible to go further. The creatures that had their negative power drawn have lost the feeling of sadness, anger, hatred or death. Very strange, indeed. Wonder if there is an opposite? That would be dangerous.”
-Biogic Human Times, July 10th, Page 28 by Barthemeus Torche

He awoke in a white plain room with an IV on the side of his bed and multiple blankets over his body. His torso was wrapped in bloodied bandages and it stung so much when he made use of the muscles there. He felt paralyzed and confined in the hospital gown and his range of vision was restricted and he couldn’t turn his neck properly. He was looking around the room for her. “I’m here.” He glanced downwards and saw the only person he could ever trust. His pride, his love and his life was still living and breathing at the foot of his bed. “Oh good, you’re ok.” “Yes, but not you. I was worried and Arwan sent a team after you.” She said silently, averting her gaze from his fallen state to the window. “But I’m fine if you are.” He laid there acting as though the two holes in his stomach weren’t real and proceeded to get some sleep while he could. “They barely got you in time. You nearly died. Do you care how I feel? I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t cry because a Guardian can never cry even in private. If there was no code I would have drained these eyes because of you. You never cared how I feel. Selfish. As long as I was yours. That was all that mattered.” Her tone did not change and was still monotonous but her feelings reached through her words and pierced right through him. He struggled himself to get up and apologize to her but it hurt so much, it pinned him to the bed. She stood up from the chair and left silently and effortlessly with her thick broadsword over her shoulder. “Sleep. I want your wounds to heal and tomorrow morning I’ll be leaving to clean up the mess of what’s left of your mission. I decided to cancel my presence to take care of you but seeing that my help is not welcome or appreciated and that the servants can do a better job I’ll leave at dawn.” “No! You’ll die if you want to fight that beast. Even my team couldn’t make a cut on it’s body. Please. You know I love you and was sorry that I worried you a lot. Please don’t.” He was pleading as his face could only see the ceiling. He struggled to get up but he couldn’t. “But Arwan doesn’t know that I cannot defeat it. Sleep well. I love you too.” She shed a tear as she walked out of the room and left it to flow down her cheek. She let it flow from her face proudly. It was evidence of her love.

“No. Get me out of this thing! Someone. I demand you to get me out of the bed. Carry me. I don’t care.” He shouted out orders but it was no use. No one was there to hear except for her as she retired to her room. Blocking out his pleads which made her feel worse. She laid her broadsword on her bed and sat there with crossed hands, ready to meet death the next day.

“I haven’t made love to you in a long time. I’m sorry. Come, here.” He gestured her to come closer. “We never made love before, Romaniz.” She answered with a confused look. “Haha. Not that type of making love. I meant cuddling you, kissing you and all that you know?” He laughed triumphantly seeing her face from a confused one to a one lit with understanding. “Oh yes. You haven’t done so in a long time and I’m angry that you didn’t. Hmph.” She turned her gaze away with eyes closed and lips curled downwards. “I’m sorry. I’m busy. Come, here.” He dragged her forcefully and lovingly by the waist across the bed and laid his chin on her shoulder, arms around her waist. He then started nibbling on her neck then the cheek. Stopping once or twice to look her in those glassy eyes and smile. They finally kissed on the lips softly after he nibbled on her for quite a while. “Your lips have never lost their touch, huh?” “Nope.” He answered, silencing her by kissing her again and again. They stopped and held hands and directed their gaze towards the full moon. She let go of his and walked to the window by her bed that was wide open to let the moonlight in. She gazed for a moment until Romaniz wrapped his arms around her waist and arms and laid his chin on her head from behind. He was about to proceed and nibble on her neck but stopped and sniffed lightly. He closed his eyes as she lay her hands over his and watched the scenery upon them. “Hazel, I love you a lot.” “ Me too.”

She snapped out of her dream and smiled a little. She was dreaming of a memory she held so dear to herself. She glanced to her window and noticed the dark sky. An abyss without the moon. It was completely dark and it felt like their relationship was like the sky. It was falling apart and there was nothing bright in it anymore. She knew there was still three hours or more till dawn and decided she needed as much sleep for the mission.

He cried all his tears out the night before blatantly as his eyes were sore and so pink to the flesh. There were also dark lines which outlined the depression under his eyes. He couldn’t cry anymore, and for the first time, his articulation of words were disastrous. He stuttered and choked. He could only hold her gloved hand after giving up with speaking to her. He was begging, pleading while she was upright and strong and despite the ache in her heart, she could do so with ease. She brought his figure up and kissed him softly and proudly on the lips with her eyes closed. Like it was their wedding and they had finished their vows. He kept his eyes open, not in shock but too register this moment as a photograph, so he could remember her serene face while she kissed him. When their lips were apart, he hugged her to his chest and sniffed her hair and hand clutched to her head. She forced herself apart and told him, “I need to go.” He only nodded in acknowledgement and looked on, his chocolate eyes were pathetic and his hands reacted to reach out for her. But he retracted them as he knew that she burned bridges already. There was no coming back. She received her broadsword from a servant and slid it into her scabbard which hung over her shoulder. An audience looked on as they kissed and parted, nobody with the courage to stop them. She proceeded to hop on her transport, taking a last look at her other half for what might be the last time. She was ready to leave and command her comrades to depart but she looked around her and tried her best to memorize the place. But someone else didn’t want her to stay long as it seemed. Multiple arrows whizzed by but the Guardians were prepared with armour which deflected the weak projectiles off. Much more arrows pelted and rained onto them. She easily repelled the arrows off with her broadsword but something was not right. What was their purpose, she jumped off the saddle on her transport and headed back towards the castle’s entrance with her weapon ready but what she saw made her dizzy, angry, sad and shocked. He stood there like a warrior he is, wielding his swords gallantly. But two arrows were sticking through his chest and his healing wounds reopened to form a large patch of blood around his waist. His swords were thin and he was vulnerable without his armour. She was so shocked and paralyzed, she didn’t notice enemies passing her and confronting him. He finally fell after a jab from one enemy to the abdomen. He was helpless. She carried him up but decided he was better off lying on the floor. His eyes were starting to turn gray and he muttered his last words, “Don’t go.”

Sweat was running down her face and she was freezing to the bone. It didn’t take long for her to realize what the dream tried to interpret to her about him. She had to stay with him or he would die. It was chilly despite the fact her windows were closed. It must be her thin clothes. She washed her face with cold water and combed her hair, out of her face. She decided to check up on him. Hoping he was sleeping well. She stopped at the door of the ward and saw him asleep but his face was a little crumpled in pain. Physical or mentally she couldn’t tell. She stood by his bed and ran the back of her hand along his cheeks and face. He was sweating profusely. His pillow was drenched and his hands were clutched tight to the blankets. He was on fire. It didn’t help that she just see him like that. She took a pail of water and a white towel from the bathroom opposite the ward. She dipped the towel and dabbed on his forehead continuously. After twenty minutes or so he stopped hyperventilating and the creases on his face eased down a little. “Hazel?” He opened his eyes in a weak manner. The pain got to him already. “Yes, I’m here Romaniz. Go back to sleep. You’re in pain.” He clenched his teeth in pain as he tried to sit up but Hazel pinned him down with her elbow and hissed, “No. Please don’t be stubborn. You need to heal.” He gave up and eased. “I want to see you leave.” He winced as he said those words but she couldn’t tell if it was in the physical pain or emotional pain. “You don’t have to. I’m staying. I foresaw an ambush and…” His face lit up despite the pain and he felt cured but he realized she didn’t finish her sentence. “What is it?” He now held her hand which was icy and stiff. “You… died.” He gave a hard laugh, in disbelief of course. “You must be kidding. Ok. What kind of ambush? Anyway I should have been dead for what made this.” He meant the wounds he currently had. “Arrows rained on us. While I was leaving.” She looked down. Her voice was cracking. Then she regained her composure and continued, “So, I’m falling behind the others to take care of you. I’m afraid that’s why.” He kissed the back of her hand another time and started to embrace it. She still hung her head in depression to avoid his gaze. She was embarrassed to cry but she let her tears drip to her t-shirt hoping that the darkness would cover that up. “Come here. Lie on top of me.” She glanced towards him for a quick moment and then averted from his gaze again. “You’re hurt. I might make it worse. I’ll go and let you rest.” She stood up and laid the wet cloth gently on his head. She took a step forward but his hand was still grabbing hold onto her arm. This time it was vice-like. She looked back and gave up. His arms were still strong despite his ‘lie on bed everyday prescription’ for a month or two. “I’m warning you. I might hurt you.” He laughed, thinking how could she hurt him at all. She carefully climbed onto the bed and laid her chest over his but looked away from his eyes. Her cheeks were still wet. She could only hear Romaniz trying to regain his breath because she wasn’t that much light but after a second or two he sounded fine. “Hazel, please don’t cry. I’m here.” He didn’t want to see her weak and vulnerable. He wrapped his arms around her and lovingly, he licked her closed eyes to get rid of the tears and he was careful to be gentle. She felt a little better as Romaniz started to lick her cheek and closed eyes. It has been a long time since he has done something loving and it was very strange but loving as he licked her cheeks from tears. She couldn’t help let out small sobs into his shirt and grab his shirt with her hands. He only kept silent and held her as she released her feelings. It was better if she let it out now than later. “Better?” He asked after a minute or so and she looked up and nodded. He chuckled. It was her adorable face and the way she nodded. She was very cute when she was crying. He kissed her hair and hugged her closer. She sniffled and hugged him back.

Hints of sunlight colored the purple skyline as dawn broke through the dark sky with the young sun peeking over the horizon slightly. Romaniz and Hazel were in slumber by then, clasping each other closely and breathing heavily into each other’s slightly agape mouth. They were both visibly exhausted and slightly injured in different ways. For the moment, their problems were set aside. A young female servant, not older than sixteen who brought breakfast for patients such as Romaniz in the early morning. She nudged Hazel lightly on the shoulder with her index finger. Hazel awoke, opening her eyes and sitting up, careful not to stir Romaniz awake. She glanced at the servant and gave a warm smile. “I’m sorry. I should not disturb your work.” Hazel gave a quick peck on Romaniz’s left cheek and was about to get off the bed when the servant spoke and put her left palm to stop her from leaving. “No. It’s okay. You can help me if that is alright?” She nodded and smiled and waited for instructions. “Mr. Alexander here is very stubborn to take his pills or eat breakfast since the first day he was hospitalized. So I hoped you could help?” She chuckled and glared at Romaniz’s face for a while before agreeing with the servant. She laid the breakfast on the bedside table and woke Romaniz up. “Hey. Stubborn get up.’ she said menacingly partially angry with him. He opened his eyes wide and suddenly shouted, “Hazel? You there?” He only calmed down after realizing that she was there and she stroked his hair gently. He must have thought that she lied to make him better. She then whispered soothingly, “I’m here silly. It’s alright.” He closed his eyes in relief and joy as she let her warm palm to wonder over his cheeks and chin. After a long moment, Hazel realized that the servant was still there, witnessing their embrace between each other. She turned and saw that the servant was staring at them and both of them flushed. “I’m sorry.” “No, it’s ok. Should we give him the pills now ma’am?” She asked as her face returned to a normal colour. She nodded and turned to Romaniz whose eyes were wide in shock as he saw the pills carried on Hazel’s palm. “No. They taste very bad. I would lose my appetite. Please no.” She gave him a stern look full of authority and Romaniz cowered a little. “You’ll eat first then take the pills? Promise me?” He nodded and frowned. She took the small plate that held his breakfast and passed it to him. He only held it and observed it. “Need me to feed you? Are your arms hurt or something?” He shook his head and openly grimaced. “Come on, eat. Or else… I might change my mind about leaving.” He then quickly stuffed a handful of his breakfast into his mouth and chewed unwillingly. She giggled along with the servant at his reaction. He only continued eating till he finished. After he gobbled it down, she gave him the glass of milk and he drank, this time willingly. He then handed Hazel back the glass and asked, “So leaving?” She shook her head and gave a radiant smile. Romaniz then kissed her on the cheek and left a milk stain on her cheek. “Ugh. Look at your mouth. Come on clean up and then your pills.” He looked a little disheartened but obeyed. After finishing everything, Hazel returned the plates and glass to the young servant. She bowed in acknowledgement before leaving. He then looked at her and said, “Now can we do things in private?” She gave a puzzled look and was kissed by Romaniz before saying anything. He pushed her on the bed and was on top of her with his hands pinning her arms to the side as he smothered her. He stopped to let her breathe. She tried to wiggle herself out carefully not to hurt him in anyway but she was trapped. He chuckled darkly and then let his lips move over throat and neck. Then to her collarbone. He started to lead his prey into his trap with his lips. Hazel moaned occasionally but tried her best to keep silent. He then stopped at her forehead and kissed it. He released his prey and smiled. She was hyperventilating subconsciously and stared back at him. “Next time, if you want to seduce me like that, please warn me. I nearly wanted to kick you in the abdomen for that.” He continued laughing. “Sorry. I will. Was I really seducing you? Oops.” She nodded and maneuvered her self from his cage-like stance. She was startled by the time and realized she had to get dressed. She strode out of the room but his hand held onto her forearm with the same vice-like grip last night. He didn’t want to seduce her again but more afraid of her leaving. “Don’t worry. I’m just going to see my comrades off. It would be very rude for me not to do so.” He nodded and spoke. “Can I follow?” She was uncertain about that and asked, “Can you walk? Are you ok?” He smiled and answered, “Of course. Don’t worry. Go get dressed. Meet me in ten minutes here?” “Sure. Be quick okay?” She strode off quickly to her room after he released her arm.

He ogled as she approached him. She was dressed in her elegant battle suit which was white and dark blue. Made of expensive silk and had ribbons on certain places. The biggest was slightly below her neck which enhanced her beauty. “What?” She noticed the way he looked at her. Never did he do that in a long time. She was just wearing the same dress yesterday. “You’re gorgeous. I’m sorry I never noticed that. Give me your hand.” She held her hand out which was soft and warm. They both then walked to the clearing. “You look handsome too. Sorry the word is kind of an understatement is it?” He chuckled and looked at her. “Oh come on. It’s the suit. None of me.”

The Guardians of the 67th Faction were all saddled on their transport. A giant bat, varying in different colours. Discovered by Ashcroft Arwan and other members of the 1st Faction in another dimension and are very useful, especially in the night. The common transport for Guardians who are assigned to long distanced missions. Hazel’s hand was released from Romaniz’s clasp so that she could exchange last few words with her members and wished them luck. They all nodded and understood and respected her decision to stay behind. After a round of exchange of words, she regained her position beside Romaniz and he held her hand instantly. There were not many people present there. Only loved ones of the members and a few Black Suits. Romaniz caught the emotion of the Black Suits from their faces and Ashcroft wasn’t there. He sensed something was amiss. He was distracted for a second until he looked back to Hazel and smiled. She smiled in return and continued to see her friends ready to drift into the skyline. All of a sudden, Anterios Belacquar, a member of the 67th faction, shouted in a panicked tone. “Ambush!” Romaniz’s head quickly cocked to her direction and gave her an unreadable expression. She was still safe and he was partially surprised her foreseeing was correct for the first time. Arrows dropped ten feet from Romaniz and were coming closer gradually. Everyone was prepared and the Black Suits who could use their weapons for long distances retaliated. There were no evident enemies in the sky as far as Romaniz could see. No one was hurt yet. He was about to run to the Black Suits for orders but Hazel suddenly blurted over the pandemonium. “I should get our weapons. It would be better.” He was hesitant but he nodded and let her leave. It was in the building, so it was safe enough. He ran as the 67th Faction held the projectiles away well but they were afraid it might not end. Sara Coverfold, another member of the 67th Faction took her transport to scan the skies for any sign of the enemy. Romaniz spoke to one of the Black Suits named Aleister Crowley for orders and added opinions. “Sir, what action do we take?” He glanced at Romaniz and answered, his hands tight around his weapon, an axe. “Standby the clearing and hold till Sara gives us a report. We can do nothing more, this is merely a trick. Look at the arrows. They can’t even scratch our armour yet they’re shooting it at us.” Romaniz stood shocked. If it was a trick then they might have ambushed the building instead of the clearing. He thought of Hazel. Aleister sensed his distress and added, “Don’t worry. There are more Guardians in there than here.” Romaniz eased up and felt relieved. He was true. More than out here. Safer in there. Soon the arrows stopped pelting on the clearing and it was a sign that it was safe to move around. Romaniz straightaway rushed back to the building. He wondered why she didn’t come to the clearing with the weapons. Maybe they were too heavy for her he thought. As he rushed to her room, a crowd of nurses and Guardians clustered around something he couldn’t see. They were whispering and fussing over something unseen to him. He was frustrated that they would gather at this moment while there were enemies attacking. But as he came closer, he realized that something laid on the floor as some of them bent down over the thing. He then gasped in shock. The air was knocked out of him as he saw that Hazel laid on the floor bleeding profusely. The blood stained the dress especially over her chest. He bent down in shock and shoved everyone aside. He then held her bloodied hand and kissed it despite the blood. She was attacked with arrows blatantly because there were two arrows by her side. The ends wet with crimson. She was a little dazed but called his name upon seeing him. “Romaniz. Please don’t cry. I’m alright. I can’t even feel the pain.” She smiled wholeheartedly despite the mess around her. He laid his free hand over her chest and applied pressure. Tears slid down his cheek and onto her dress they fell. Hazel then stroked his hair and whispered, “Don’t worry. I’ll always be there. No matter what.” She then indicated his heart with her index finger as she held it up weakly. He then stared into her eyes and spoke with slight anger. “Don’t you say that Hazel Chane. Don’t you say that.” He used her surname meaning he really meant it. Tears were flowing endlessly but his face remained normal and held its composure. They then looked at each other thoughtfully like the first time they confessed to each other as lovers. She smiled, like she always did, before him. “Kiss me. This might be the last. I love you. More than I ever did in this life.” He smiled, and let another tear flow onto her face this time. “Rubbish. You could never love more than I do.” He accepted that she could only live a few more minutes and the kissed her. Passionately and lovingly. He kissed like if the more passionate it was, the more time she was given. For another two minutes or so, their lips never parted. He pulled back and saw her eyes open. She smiled for the umpteenth time today and finally cried a tear. “Smile ok?” Then she took her last breath before her eyes turned gray and the life faded. He buried his face into her neck and finally let his guard down.

You have several occasions where you have written words together where there should be a space. (butthat, powerthat, knowthat and so on. It seems as if it usually happens when the next word is "that".)

You also have word confusion that needs to be corrected. (Correctly spelled word, but not the right word in the context.)

Your sentence structure is a bit odd at times. Such as,
"Never did he do that in a long time." That could probably be "He had not done that in a long time." If I guess that English isn't your first language am I close then?

The jumps between the quotes from the book and the story should be clearer. One way to do that is to ...

****

... not only start a new paragraph and use "quotation marks" but only use another sign such as *** to mark the change. (The *** is supposed to be in the middle of the line, but it doesn't show that way here on yahoo.)

To make it easier to read you also need to change the spoken text to be easier to read. Start on a new line every time a new person speaks. As such;
“Oh good, you’re ok.”
“Yes, but not you. I was worried and Arwan sent a team after you.” She said silently, averting her gaze from his fallen state to the window.
“But I’m fine if you are.” He laid there acting as though the two holes in his stomach weren’t real and proceeded to get some sleep while he could.

The jump to her dream is also confusing since there is no warning. He's confided to the bed and can't get up and then he's suddenly ... dragging her forcefully. She snapped out of the dream and the there is more dream without no warning again. making it even more confusing.

There are also big chunks of text that would be better if cut into a few paragraphs.

The story in it self is interesting and I would probably have enjoyed reading it if it had been easier to read. Luckily it's easy to edit it and correct the mistakes to fix that.

can you tell me if this story is good or bad?

Nov 18, 2008 by legolas2229 | Posted in Mythology & Folklore

Chapter 1- Plane Ride
I’m Jeymee Pau and I’m on the way to Paris, France! Paris is the most romantic, fashionable, artistic, and sophisticated place I know. I can’t wait to land and smell the fresh air, because the guy sitting next to me reeks of microwavable chili which looked like it came out of the air plane toilet. Besides the toilet eater sitting next to me, the view of the bright blue sky, and flying right though the clouds is the most exhilarating feeling. Only 4 more hours and I’m off to meet my sister. I’m moving from New Hampshire to Paris, to live with my big sister. She called me a month ago and asked if I wanted to move in with her, because my mom went off and started her actress career and is always gone. I would take care of myself at the house, and my friends back at home were like my family, but my sister insisted that I shouldn’t be left at home by myself at the age of 16, because I was too young and it wasn’t safe for me to be alone she said. Also I already knew French so I wasn’t going to be the clueless American new girl. I loved my friends, but how could I turn down my sister and further more Paris! Also to tell the truth, it was a little lonely being by me at home all the time.
Finally I’m off the wretched plane and away from the nasty toilet eater. As I was walking down the Aisle, to the gates, to the airport it finally hit, the moment I’ve been waiting for. I left my little city Nashua; I left my friends, school, and life there. How did I make myself believe for one minute that I could just walk away and forget everything I left behind me? I’m in the big city of Paris new people, new school, and a new city. What if I got lost and couldn’t find my way back home and I got robbed or worse, kidnapped. My mind was going crazy and I felt all dizzy and woozy, but I didn’t realize that I had already past the gates and my big sister was pushing everyone aside to greet me. My sister, Sharon, She’s the greatest role model, she’s only 25 and is an owner of a big company in Paris, and has her own house. When I saw her but how could I turn down my sister and further more Paris! Also to tell the truth, it was a little lonely being by me at home all the time. When I saw her she looked so professional her short black hair angled short from the back to long in the front, and wearing her black pencil skirt and white blouse. I always adored my sister, but today when my sister greeted me I felt a rush of relief and I knew that I wasn’t alone and I was going to do just fine in Paris… or so I thought.
Chapter 2 – Arriving home
When we got out of her car at her house, I thought my jaw fell right off my face. I knew my sister had a decent size house, but this was a whole new story. This was the biggest house I’ve ever stepped onto, back in New Hampshire I lived In a 2 bedroom apartment, and this house looked like it could sleep easily, 12 people. Walking up to the door I was in astonishment. There was a black cement drive way in a half circle and in the middle was a white brick stair case up to my sisters house, to the sides were bounds of snow white and rosy pink flowers. The house was made of granite rock plates and white vinyl siding and the roof was light blue. Walking thought the gigantic glossed black doors, welcomed me into the entrance. In the entrance there were 2 stairs on either side of the wall leading up to the upper floor and in the middle was a stair case leading to the ground floor. The ground floor led to various rooms, the dining room, kitchen, bathroom, work out room, and living room. The upper floor led to my sister’s room, bathroom, study, and my room.
When I entered my room it was painted a light sky blue color. There was a king size bed, the bed sheets were white trimmed with flowers on the side. On top was a down feather baby blue color blanket, and on top of that were baby blue and white pillows. There was a white frame around the bed and it was covered with a white canopy over the bed. There was a desk and computer on the other side of the room and a book case with many teenage romance books which I loved to read, but my favorite part was the glass door opening to a balcony outside. I turned to my sister and started to say this was to much , but she simply just said it was nothing and turned around and said dinner was going to be ready at 7:00 and gave me time to unpack my things. I jumped right into my bed I felt just like I was in the sky. I suppose I should think what I should do this weekend. I didn’t need to think about that for a long time and came to a conclusion to go shopping to find an outfit, so I wouldn’t look like a dork on my first day back to school on Monday.
Chapter 3- Dinner
“Jeymee!” screamed my sister.
Oops, I must have fallen asleep on my bed; I jumped off and ran downstairs to meet my sister in the dinning room
“Sorry, I must have fallen asleep.” I blurted out once I saw my sister
“Its fine, I hope you don’t mind Chinese, I didn’t have t

It definitely needs revising. For example, you said "when I saw her but how could I turn down my sister and further more Paris! Also to tell the truth, it was a little lonely being by me at home all the time" twice... You need to clean up your writing a bit. For example, "I thought my jaw fell right off my face" sounds quite awkward and is a bit of a cliched line. You should also rework the dialogue to make it sound more natural and believable. In general, it is an awkward story characterized by a lack of flow.

Romeo and Juliet?

Mar 07, 2008 by ~BEACHBABE~ | Posted in Theater & Acting

In the first 21 lines of this scene(Act 5 Scene 3), Shakespeare portrays Paris in such a way that the audience can't halp but be reminded of Romeo in the first scene of the play. What similarities do you see?



Act 5, Scene 3

SCENE III. A churchyard; in it a tomb belonging to the Capulets.

Enter PARIS, and his Page bearing flowers and a torch

PARIS

Give me thy torch, boy: hence, and stand aloof:
Yet put it out, for I would not be seen.
Under yond yew-trees lay thee all along,
Holding thine ear close to the hollow ground;
So shall no foot upon the churchyard tread,
Being loose, unfirm, with digging up of graves,
But thou shalt hear it: whistle then to me,
As signal that thou hear'st something approach.
Give me those flowers. Do as I bid thee, go.

PAGE

[Aside] I am almost afraid to stand alone
Here in the churchyard; yet I will adventure.

Retires

PARIS

Sweet flower, with flowers thy bridal bed I strew,--
O woe! thy canopy is dust and stones;--
Which with sweet water nightly I will dew,
Or, wanting that, with tears distill'd by moans:
The obsequies that I for thee will keep
Nightly shall be to strew thy grave and weep.

The Page whistles
The boy gives warning something doth approach.
What cursed foot wanders this way to-night,
To cross my obsequies and true love's rite?
What with a torch! muffle me, night, awhile.

Retires

Enter ROMEO and BALTHASAR, with a torch, mattock, & c

ROMEO

Give me that mattock and the wrenching iron.
Hold, take this letter; early in the morning
See thou deliver it to my lord and father.
Give me the light: upon thy life, I charge thee,
Whate'er thou hear'st or seest, stand all aloof,
And do not interrupt me in my course.
Why I descend into this bed of death,
Is partly to behold my lady's face;
But chiefly to take thence from her dead finger
A precious ring, a ring that I must use
In dear employment: therefore hence, be gone:
But if thou, jealous, dost return to pry
In what I further shall intend to do,
By heaven, I will tear thee joint by joint
And strew this hungry churchyard with thy limbs:
The time and my intents are savage-wild,
More fierce and more inexorable far
Than empty tigers or the roaring sea.

BALTHASAR

I will be gone, sir, and not trouble you.

ROMEO

So shalt thou show me friendship. Take thou that:
Live, and be prosperous: and farewell, good fellow.

BALTHASAR

[Aside] For all this same, I'll hide me hereabout:
His looks I fear, and his intents I doubt.

Retires

ROMEO

Thou detestable maw, thou womb of death,
Gorged with the dearest morsel of the earth,
Thus I enforce thy rotten jaws to open,
And, in despite, I'll cram thee with more food!

Opens the tomb

PARIS

This is that banish'd haughty Montague,
That murder'd my love's cousin, with which grief,
It is supposed, the fair creature died;
And here is come to do some villanous shame
To the dead bodies: I will apprehend him.

Comes forward
Stop thy unhallow'd toil, vile Montague!
Can vengeance be pursued further than death?
Condemned villain, I do apprehend thee:
Obey, and go with me; for thou must die.

ROMEO

I must indeed; and therefore came I hither.
Good gentle youth, tempt not a desperate man;
Fly hence, and leave me: think upon these gone;
Let them affright thee. I beseech thee, youth,
Put not another sin upon my head,
By urging me to fury: O, be gone!
By heaven, I love thee better than myself;
For I come hither arm'd against myself:
Stay not, be gone; live, and hereafter say,
A madman's mercy bade thee run away.

PARIS

I do defy thy conjurations,
And apprehend thee for a felon here.

ROMEO

Wilt thou provoke me? then have at thee, boy!

They fight

PAGE

O Lord, they fight! I will go call the watch.

Exit

PARIS

O, I am slain!

Falls
If thou be merciful,
Open the tomb, lay me with Juliet.

Dies

ROMEO

In faith, I will. Let me peruse this face.
Mercutio's kinsman, noble County Paris!
What said my man, when my betossed soul
Did not attend him as we rode? I think
He told me Paris should have married Juliet:
Said he not so? or did I dream it so?
Or am I mad, hearing him talk of Juliet,
To think it was so? O, give me thy hand,
One writ with me in sour misfortune's book!
I'll bury thee in a triumphant grave;
A grave? O no! a lantern, slaughter'd youth,
For here lies Juliet, and her beauty makes
This vault a feasting presence full of light.
Death, lie thou there, by a dead man interr'd.

Laying PARIS in the tomb
How oft when men are at the point of death
Have they been merry! which their keepers call
A lightning before death: O, how may I
Call this a lightning? O my love! my wife!
Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath,
Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty:
Thou art not conquer'd; beauty's ensign yet
Is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks,
And death's pale flag is not advanced there.
Tybalt, liest thou there in thy bloody sheet?
O, what more favour can I do to thee,
Than with that hand that cut thy youth in twain
To sunder his that was thine enemy?
Forgive me, cousin! Ah, dear Juliet,
Why art thou yet so fair? shall I believe
That unsubstantial death is amorous,
And that the lean abhorred monster keeps
Thee here in dark to be his paramour?
For fear of that, I still will stay with thee;
And never from this palace of dim night
Depart again: here, here will I remain
With worms that are thy chamber-maids; O, here
Will I set up my everlasting rest,
And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars
From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!
Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you
The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss
A dateless bargain to engrossing death!
Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!
Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on
The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark!
Here's to my love!

Drinks
O true apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.

Dies

Enter, at the other end of the churchyard, FRIAR LAURENCE, with a lantern, crow, and spade

FRIAR LAURENCE

Saint Francis be my speed! how oft to-night
Have my old feet stumbled at graves! Who's there?

BALTHASAR

Here's one, a friend, and one that knows you well.

FRIAR LAURENCE

Bliss be upon you! Tell me, good my friend,
What torch is yond, that vainly lends his light
To grubs and eyeless skulls? as I discern,
It burneth in the Capel's monument.

BALTHASAR

It doth so, holy sir; and there's my master,
One that you love.

FRIAR LAURENCE

Who is it?

BALTHASAR

Romeo.

FRIAR LAURENCE

How long hath he been there?

BALTHASAR

Full half an hour.

FRIAR LAURENCE

Go with me to the vault.

BALTHASAR

I dare not, sir
My master knows not but I am gone hence;
And fearfully did menace me with death,
If I did stay to look on his intents.

FRIAR LAURENCE

Stay, then; I'll go alone. Fear comes upon me:
O, much I fear some ill unlucky thing.

BALTHASAR

As I did sleep under this yew-tree here,
I dreamt my master and another fought,
And that my master slew him.

FRIAR LAURENCE

Romeo!

Advances
Alack, alack, what blood is this, which stains
The stony entrance of this sepulchre?
What mean these masterless and gory swords
To lie discolour'd by this place of peace?

Enters the tomb
Romeo! O, pale! Who else? what, Paris too?
And steep'd in blood? Ah, what an unkind hour
Is guilty of this lamentable chance!
The lady stirs.

JULIET wakes

JULIET

O comfortable friar! where is my lord?
I do remember well where I should be,
And there I am. Where is my Romeo?

Noise within

FRIAR LAURENCE

I hear some noise. Lady, come from that nest
Of death, contagion, and unnatural sleep:
A greater power than we can contradict
Hath thwarted our intents. Come, come away.
Thy husband in thy bosom there lies dead;
And Paris too. Come, I'll dispose of thee
Among a sisterhood of holy nuns:
Stay not to question, for the watch is coming;
Come, go, good Juliet,

Noise again
I dare no longer stay.

JULIET

Go, get thee hence, for I will not away.

Exit FRIAR LAURENCE
What's here? a cup, closed in my true love's hand?
Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end:
O churl! drunk all, and left no friendly drop
To help me after? I will kiss thy lips;
Haply some poison yet doth hang on them,
To make die with a restorative.

Kisses him
Thy lips are warm.

First Watchman

[Within] Lead, boy: which way?

JULIET

Yea, noise? then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!

Snatching ROMEO's dagger
This is thy sheath;

Stabs herself
there rust, and let me die.

Falls on ROMEO's body, and dies

Enter Watch, with the Page of PARIS

PAGE

This is the place; there, where the torch doth burn.

First Watchman

The ground is bloody; search about the churchyard:
Go, some of you, whoe'er you find attach.
Pitiful sight! here lies the county slain,
And Juliet bleeding, warm, and newly dead,
Who here hath lain these two days buried.
Go, tell the prince: run to the Capulets:
Raise up the Montagues: some others search:
We see the ground whereon these woes do lie;
But the true ground of all these piteous woes
We cannot without circumstance descry.

Re-enter some of the Watch, with BALTHASAR

Second Watchman

Here's Romeo's man; we found him in the churchyard.

First Watchman

Hold him in safety, till the prince come hither.

Re-enter others of the Watch, with FRIAR LAURENCE

Third Watchman

Here is a friar, that trembles, sighs and weeps:
We took this mattock and this spade from him,
As he was coming from this churchyard side.

First Watchman

A great suspicion: stay the friar too.

Enter the PRINCE and Attendants

PRINCE

What misadventure is so early up,
That calls our person from our morning's rest?

Enter CAPULET, LADY CAPULET, and others

CAPULET

What should it be, that they so shriek abroad?

LADY CAPULET

The people in the street cry Romeo,
Some Juliet, and some Paris; and all run,
With open outcry toward our monument.

PRINCE

What fear is this which startles in our ears?

First Watchman

Sovereign, here lies the County Paris slain;
And Romeo dead; and Juliet, dead before,
Warm and new kill'd.

PRINCE

Search, seek, and know how this foul murder comes.

First Watchman

Here is a friar, and slaughter'd Romeo's man;
With instruments upon them, fit to open
These dead men's tombs.

CAPULET

O heavens! O wife, look how our daughter bleeds!
This dagger hath mista'en--for, lo, his house
Is empty on the back of Montague,--
And it mis-sheathed in my daughter's bosom!

LADY CAPULET

O me! this sight of death is as a bell,
That warns my old age to a sepulchre.

Enter MONTAGUE and others

PRINCE

Come, Montague; for thou art early up,
To see thy son and heir more early down.

MONTAGUE

Alas, my liege, my wife is dead to-night;
Grief of my son's exile hath stopp'd her breath:
What further woe conspires against mine age?

PRINCE

Look, and thou shalt see.

MONTAGUE

O thou untaught! what manners is in this?
To press before thy father to a grave?

PRINCE

Seal up the mouth of outrage for a while,
Till we can clear these ambiguities,
And know their spring, their head, their
true descent;
And then will I be general of your woes,
And lead you even to death: meantime forbear,
And let mischance be slave to patience.
Bring forth the parties of suspicion.

FRIAR LAURENCE

I am the greatest, able to do least,
Yet most suspected, as the time and place
Doth make against me of this direful murder;
And here I stand, both to impeach and purge
Myself condemned and myself excused.

PRINCE

Then say at once what thou dost know in this.

FRIAR LAURENCE

I will be brief, for my short date of breath
Is not so long as is a tedious tale.
Romeo, there dead, was husband to that Juliet;
And she, there dead, that Romeo's faithful wife:
I married them; and their stol'n marriage-day
Was Tybalt's dooms-day, whose untimely death
Banish'd the new-made bridegroom from the city,
For whom, and not for Tybalt, Juliet pined.
You, to remove that siege of grief from her,
Betroth'd and would have married her perforce
To County Paris: then comes she to me,
And, with wild looks, bid me devise some mean
To rid her from this second marriage,
Or in my cell there would she kill herself.
Then gave I her, so tutor'd by my art,
A sleeping potion; which so took effect
As I intended, for it wrought on her
The form of death: meantime I writ to Romeo,
That he should hither come as this dire night,
To help to take her from her borrow'd grave,
Being the time the potion's force should cease.
But he which bore my letter, Friar John,
Was stay'd by accident, and yesternight
Return'd my letter back. Then all alone
At the prefixed hour of her waking,
Came I to take her from her kindred's vault;
Meaning to keep her closely at my cell,
Till I conveniently could send to Romeo:
But when I came, some minute ere the time
Of her awaking, here untimely lay
The noble Paris and true Romeo dead.
She wakes; and I entreated her come forth,
And bear this work of heaven with patience:
But then a noise did scare me from the tomb;
And she, too desperate, would not go with me,
But, as it seems, did violence on herself.
All this I know; and to the marriage
Her nurse is privy: and, if aught in this
Miscarried by my fault, let my old life
Be sacrificed, some hour before his time,
Unto the rigour of severest law.

PRINCE

We still have known thee for a holy man.
Where's Romeo's man? what can he say in this?

BALTHASAR

I brought my master news of Juliet's death;
And then in post he came from Mantua
To this same place, to this same monument.
This letter he early bid me give his father,
And threatened me with death, going in the vault,
I departed not and left him there.

PRINCE

Give me the letter; I will look on it.
Where is the county's page, that raised the watch?
Sirrah, what made your master in this place?

PAGE

He came with flowers to strew his lady's grave;
And bid me stand aloof, and so I did:
Anon comes one with light to ope the tomb;
And by and by my master drew on him;
And then I ran away to call the watch.

PRINCE

This letter doth make good the friar's words,
Their course of love, the tidings of her death:
And here he writes that he did buy a poison
Of a poor 'pothecary, and therewithal
Came to this vault to die, and lie with Juliet.
Where be these enemies? Capulet! Montague!
See, what a scourge is laid upon your hate,
That heaven finds means to kill your joys with love.
And I for winking at your discords too
Have lost a brace of kinsmen: all are punish'd.

CAPULET

O brother Montague, give me thy hand:
This is my daughter's jointure, for no more
Can I demand.

MONTAGUE

But I can give thee more:
For I will raise her statue in pure gold;
That while Verona by that name is known,
There shall no figure at such rate be set
As that of true and faithful Juliet.

CAPULET

As rich shall Romeo's by his lady's lie;
Poor sacrifices of our enmity!

PRINCE

A glooming peace this morning with it brings;
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

In the first act, it is Romeo who is out every night grieving for a woman who did not love him (Rosaline); in the last act, it is Paris grieving for Juliet, who didn't love him any more than Rosaline loved Romeo.

Moving entrance canopy

A neighboring business manufactured this entrance canopy for the new rec. center. They moved it about 4 miles down the road to its location.